I think I’m actually documenting this for my own benefit, rather than to give advice to other new or soon-to-be Dads, as one thing is for sure with babies..what works for one baby, one time, probably won’t work for another baby, or even again on the same baby. You learn that one quickly!
I’ll probably expand on each of these points a little later on, but for now I’m keeping it in point form.
- Family comes first, no matter what
- Be very prepared to put work on hold…..even learn to say ‘no’ sometimes, as there definitely isn’t enough hours in the day
- Learn to fall asleep quickly, and learn to live on 2-4hr naps
- Everybody has an opinion, however every baby is different (aka midwifes aren’t always right)
- You do need to burp breast fed babies (we were told differently on two occasions)
- Learn a whole bunch of ‘15 minute or less’ recipes
- Eat as healthy as you possibly can, you’ll need all the nutritious, natural energy you can get because you really really need it
- Take a vitamin supplement, no matter how healthy you eat you’ll still need a little extra
- Talk and interact with your baby as much as possible, early childhood ‘learning’ will shape the rest of their lives
- A healthy baby generally only cries because it is hungry or has a dirty nappy (you do learn the difference between the cries)
- A normal, healthy, breast fed baby can poo after every feed, or once a day, or even up to once a month (there is no ‘normal’)
- There’s no such thing as a schedule in the first 6-8 weeks
- You will get peed on, you will get pooped on, you will get vomited on.
- You will get head butted, punched, and kicked by your baby….and depending on where it lands it will definitely hurt
- Changing a nappy isn’t that hard, I can do it in about 30 seconds now (depending on how much poop there is of course)
- Your patience will be tested on a daily, if not hourly, basis
- Baby and parenting forums are full of crap advice
- Breast feeding is significantly cheaper than bottle feeding
- Carry a camera, and a video camera, with you at ALL times
A lot of points there…. I’m sure I can pad a few of them out at a later date.
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That last point is why my wife now has an iphone 3gs. I'm still learning point #1.
I think for some of us #1 is the hardest thing to learn, no matter how hard you try.. I feel guilty some times for pushing my clients and work aside, however I know at the end of the day it's only money and it's not the end of the world if I don't get it.
Plus I want to have a great relationship with my son when he's older, so it's time to build the foundations now!
And yep, the iPhone 3GS pretty well ticks all the boxes on the last point. I've been very since I upgraded from the 3G to the 3GS a couple of weeks ago.
Too true Mat. Great list and I would have to agree with them all. Our little bundles of joy are amazing little people. I could add a few that I have learnt over the last 3 years too:
* As soon as you think you've worked out whats going on with your baby they change a complete 180 degrees and everything starts again. Its like they have a little 'keep mummy and daddy on their toes radar installed'
* As parents only you and Kath really 'KNOW' your baby and what he likes, needs, wants or is best for him. Everyone else is just guessing and its up to you whether you take or leave anyones advice. Like you said everyone has an opinion but only yours matters.
* You will finds emotions, strengths, weaknesses, skills and abilities that you never knew or thought you had. bub will learn and know how to push those buttons and boundaries in an instant and test your limits whenever they can, but at the same time they will make you so proud and give you so much joy that none of that stuff matters and is forgotten in an instant.
* 1 little smile can melt you in a microsecond.
* 1 scream of pain can bring you to tears even sooner. Especially when you cant find what is causing their pain.
* I never thought I could love someone so unconditionally no matter what they do or say, and at the same time want to do anything for them to protect, help and make life that little bit easier for them.
* Childbirth really is amazing!!!
* Unfortunately they dont come with a manual. at 3am when they are screaming in pain and you have just about tried everything to soothe them and ease their suffering, you just wish that you had a manual to tell you what to do.
* Whether they say it or not, our mums (and dads) really do like it when you ring at all hours of the night to ask for advice!
* Your 2nd child is alot easier, you do gain more confidence and you learn that a little bit of dirt never hurt anyone.
I could go on and on, but I think I know that until I die I will always be learning something about my children and myself that I never thought was possible. They are amazing little people.
The [future] relationship with my son, who is 13wks old, is why I'm trying hard to learn #1. Though for me, it's not pushing aside work and clients as much as it is to stop being selfish with my time.
I really like this concept and being a father I can relate, I never stop learning how to respond, react, interact, teach, discipline, negotiate, listen etc. You have presented an impressive list of examples and best practice which are worth acknowledging for new fathers and existing parents. I look forward to reading more in the series!!
Thanks for the encouraging words Joe!